Archive for October 20th, 2008

Saturday Night Live – Update: Palin Rap

October 20, 2008
Sarah on SNL

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21 Reasons Why Sarah Palin Should NOT be Elected Vice President…

October 20, 2008

Vote McCain - Palin

Vote McCain - Palin

1) She is a Woman.

2) She does not believe in killing babies, born or unborn. 

3) She is NOT endorsed by Susan Sarandon, Jane Fonda, Rosie O’Donnell, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Geraldine Ferrara, Barbara Walters, Helen Thomas, Ellen DeGeneres, Ted Kennedy, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Barbra Streisand, David Letterman, or others who fervently believe in a Woman’s Right to Choose (to kill babies). 

4) She is married to a Foreigner – a species called ‘Native American’ – meaning her five children are half-breeds. 

5) She has on more than one occasion expressed PRIDE in the United States of America. 

6) Unlike decent, self-respecting, moralistic Democrats everywhere, she has a 17-year-old daughter who became pregnant out of wedlock – AND IS KEEPING THE BABY. 

7) She is a member of the National Rifle Association / actually owns firearms / and knows how to use them. 

8. She has killed a moose, among other animals – and spreads the propaganda that it is hunters, through their license fees, that keep American wildlife from becoming extinct. 

9) She often does her own grocery and other household shopping. 

10) She drives a car, and flies a plane. 

11) She chose to give birth to a child known to be challenged early in her pregnancy, rather than allow a skilled Abortion Doctor to kill it for her. 

12) She refuses to apologize for seeking the termination of an Alaskan State Trooper just because he routinely ran over people and lovingly applied a gentle Taser to his 12-year-old stepson (who, of course, happened to be Gov. Palin’s nephew). 

13) She is inexperienced. And she refuses to admit that her duties as the chief executive in the State of Alaska are nowhere near equal to those of a public servant who was once a Community Organizer, or that of a United States Senator who has carried the awesome burden of overseeing a staff of political appointees – many with terroristic ties. 

14) She has a son who is serving in the U.S. Military, soon to be deployed to the Persian Gulf – probably making her prejudiced against all the peaceful Muslims in that part of the world. 

15) She is on Oprah Winfrey’s ‘Do Not Invite’ list. 

16) She professes to be a Christian, but has no ‘Spiritual Adviser’ – even though Rev. Jeremiah Wright, who served Sen. Obama in that capacity for 20 years, is now available. 

17) She isn’t really a ‘beauty queen,’ as advertised. She was only the runner-up in the Miss Alaska Contest; and Alaska is not a very populous state, anyway. 

18) The Obama-Biden ticket is favored over McCain-Palin, 80% to 20% by our friendly allies in France AND by Cuban Dictator Fidel Castro AND by the leaders of both Iran AND North Korea. 

19) Her children are not properly trained in hygiene. (Did you see her 7-year-old daughter shamelessly lick the entire palm of her hand at the Convention, then use it to slick down the hair of her little brother?) An obviously disgusting and unsanitary act. 

20) She is of mixed English, German, and Irish ancestry – and you KNOW you can’t trust those  Micks.

21) Back to No. 1: This is the one that really galls modern, liberal ‘feminists.’ Gov. Palin is a Woman – a female – a wife and mother – who shaves her legs, wears makeup, dresses smartly, often cooks meals for her family, doesn’t give a rat’s-ass about the National Organization for Women or the all-powerful Teachers Unions – and obviously will never, EVER fit in as a member of the Washington Elite power brokers.

Remove tongue from cheek